Recap - 2025-06-05

Characters:

Recap

The adventurers start their adventure meeting up at Small and Coats Industries to get their first job from their new sometimes employers. Each of these adventurers has been put on retainer by the pair, in the form of room and board (within reason) at the Chirper’s Inn. The adventurers had a fun little icebreaker session with Coats, who instructed them to return the next day for their first retrieval mission.

The adventurers adjourned to Chirper’s Inn, too tired to partake of the offerings, and instead went for their rest. The next morning, they returned to the warehouse, where Coats informed them he was going to send them into Undersigil to retrieve a cake cleaver of supposedly magical qualities from the Coterie of Cakes. This defunct and disgraced faction believed the multiverse was a giant layer cake, and celebrated this by making and eating cakes.

DM note here: This is a canonical faction, in both Planescape 2e and the new 5e edition.

Once Coats finished the briefing in his characteristic stuttering patter, Small took the group outside to a tout–a creature who knows the city inside and out and acts as a guide–named Scratches in the Night, or “Scratchy”, as Small calls him. Small spoke to Scratchy the adventurers’ names in various intonations and tones, then released the group to the adventure.

Scratchy led the group into a drain in the Clerk’s Ward, and then into Undersigil proper. He led them past a series of winding tunnels, large trash-filled rooms, and an enormous lake of sewer water with a small whirlpool in the center. Finally, they arrived at a tunnel leading into a small room surrounded by pipes. They can hear muted conversation and occasionally snatches of a shared song. Scratchy gestures for them to go in, but then puts up a hand and pantomimes eating, then holds his stomach, weaving back and forth, and then pantomimes vomiting.

The characters understand his warning, and enter the room. In the center of the room is a large table, covered in cakes and teacups. There are five figures around the table, each in various forms of what what at one point must have been finery, but is now mostly rags. Angelus B Damned stepped forward and introduced himself to the leader of the group, Gertrube. He spied the cleaver they were sent for in the center of the table, and asked Gertrube if he could use it to cut the cake. Getrube insisted on being the one to cut the cake, as was her right and duty as the leader of the Coterie of Cakes faction - the head Caker.

Angelus pressed the issue, insisting if he couldn’t use the cleaver, he could at least offer her a dance. He offered his small aasmiar hand up to the six foot, eight inch mountain of a woman, who refused his offer, and instead picked him up and carried him to a seat at the table.

The rest of the party joined him, and Gertrube introduced the rest of her group:

Albis - Small, flighty dude.
Whitterab - Catatonic, slowly munching on cake.
Reed Qan - Seems relatively normal but will occasionally whisper into her cake about how her wonders what kind of cake the characters taste like.
Chessie - Big dude, has a psuedodragon on his shoulders that is incredibly fat, just like him. Feeds it cake.

They all started in on the tea party, but Gertrube insisted on everyone eating the cake, so they could experience the multiverse as it truly exists. Tag inspected the cake, and discovered that not only was it baked with some sort of bat wing meal instead of flour, and some sort of blood instead of milk, but the blood and bat wings were of a fiendish variety.

Angelus, realizing that there was no way they could make this work without eating the cake, decided to go on the offensive. Tag whispered to him that these people would likely be better off dead, so Angelus stepped up onto the table and began to juggle his cards. As Gertrube stood to protest this travesty and insist he sit down and eat his cake, he threw once of his empowered cards at her and the battle began.

The highlights of the battle include:

Josiah (formerly JSE) using his new fire pathing powers to burn up many of the enemies.
Gertrube summoning a number of cake demons to attack the party.
Angelus using both the cake cleaver they were sent to retrieve and his longsword to cleave off the head of Gertrube.
Angelus getting beaten about the head and shoulders with rolling pins by several of the cakers.
Josiah getting frosting just all over the barrel of his gun.
Gobbie turning one of the cakers into paste with his warhammer.
Cath and Tag tag teaming (heh) the cake monsters and two of the Cakers.
One of the Cakers trying to escape Gobbie through a portal that led to another pipe in the Caker base that let out right next to Josiah, so she then ran back into the pipe only to be shot by Josiah from across the room.
JSE misty stepping and running along the walls to destroy Chessie in one shot.
Gobbie valiantly attempting to capture one of the group alive, and having to watch Josiah blow the head off his soon-to-be-prisoner.

When the battle was over, the group looted the area and found:

2 Buckets of Vargouille wings and guts - Can be brewed down by anyone with a poisoners kit to make Vargouille Venom.
36 GP
A Thermal Cube, used to cook the cakes.
A pile of china plates and tea cups worth 15 GP.
A chest of cake ingredients in poor condition worth 5 GP, or can be used by someone with cooking tools to make a decent quality cake.
A Tin of Caker Frosting.

Tag found a trapped chest and managed to disarm it using his thieves and tinkers tools, and managed to not only get the Tin of Caker Frosting, but also a teacup with two charges of Explosive Caker Frosting.

Josiah found the Vargouille blood and was so put off by the smell with his newly minted elven nose that he left it in the chest, so the characters don’t actually have that item.

They returned to Scratchy, who took them back to the surface and back to the warehouse. Coats was pleased to see them, but disappointed to see the cleaver didn’t have any magical properties. He offered it to the players, but when no one was interested, he decided to attempt to imbue it with something and resell it as part of their products. He paid the players 20 GP each for the retrieval, then sent them away to party away their earnings for a couple of days until they needed them again.

Song of the Session

I Will Survive by CAKE

#sigil/recap #sigilsite

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